


Blame It On Midnight

by jesseofthenorth



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Community: smallfandomfest, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-09
Updated: 2011-07-09
Packaged: 2017-10-21 04:45:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesseofthenorth/pseuds/jesseofthenorth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve dreams a lot and talks not at all but Danny figures some things out anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame It On Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Written for smallfandomfest  
> Prompt: Fever dreams, Danny gains insight into Steve's nightmares

The first time Danny spends the night in Steve’s bed he's awakened in the middle of the night by Steve having a dream. He doesn't pay it a lot of mind, everyone has a shitty dream once in a while. Steve spends a few minutes in the can then comes back to bed and Danny falls back to sleep pretty quick.

The thing is though, Steve dreams a lot. Not every night but still, too much. Danny spends enough nights sleeping beside the guy to realize that when they take things to a more serious level? Steve dreams get worse. And they are not dreams either. They are nightmares.

When he dreams Steve mutters and curses and flails and repeats one phrase over and over “You can't have them” which makes zero sense to Danny.

It doesn't happen often but when it does Steve wakes up sweaty and gasping for breath shaking and clutching at the world like it will slip away again if he can't get a grip. Danny hates the look in his eye, hates that Steve can't breath. More than anything Danny hates that there is nothing he can do do to help.

He tried at first but it didn’t work. Steve wouldn’t talk about it. Period.

The one conversation they had about it, right at the beginning of things between them, ended spectacularly badly with Steve somehow deciding he was too much work, telling Danny it was okay he understood and they didn’t have to do this anymore if he wanted to quit. Steve McGarrett was the singularly most frustrating human being Danny had ever dealt with in his life and there were times when he had fantasies about smacking Steve on the back of the head until his brain turned back on. But sitting in Steve's bed at 3am while Steve told him he would understand if Danny decided he was too much work was not one of those times.

Mostly right then with Steve looking at the wall and not Danny, trying to be all stoic and shit, giving Danny an out when it looked like the idea made him want to vomit. That made Danny  want to hurt someone.

“Don't be stupid , babe. Come back to bed” he'd said pulling Steve back down without further discussion. No way was Danny leaving any doubt in Steve's mind “ I'm right were I want to be. I just wish you could sleep better.”

Danny had no clue what to do and nothing seemed to help. So he most nights settled for rubbing slow gentle strokes into his back while Steve got a grip, and wishing there was someone to shoot for this. If Danny could just figure out who was responsible, but that wasn't going to happen either. Because Steve would not talk. So Danny was never going to find what the hell was going on and fix it.

Danny found a way to make it work, tried to reconcile his need to fix it with Steve's need to let it lie. It wasn't like this happened all that often anyway, and Steve was a functional (if fucked up) human being and Danny could only respect his wish to not talk about it. Danny did his best to chalk it up to the price of being a career soldier all those years, and move on. He still wanted to make Steve talk about it but mostly managed to resist.

Until Steve got sick.

In the entire time Danny had known Steve, counted now in years instead of months, Steve had been sick once, when someones mucus-covered toddler had sneezed directly in his face. Steve had the sniffles for 2 days and bitched the entire time. He didn’t miss work at all and as far as Danny could see his only visible symptom was a runny nose. When Danny got it later in the week he was in bed for 3 days. When Kono got it she ended up on antibiotics. When Chin got it , last but never least , he was hospitalized for dehydration. Steve? That fucker had a runny nose for 2 days.

So when Danny comes back to the office one Monday morning, fresh off a father daughter thing with Grace's scout troop, to find McGarrett passed out on his couch in a sweaty heap? He's a little surprised, and maybe a little (secretly) gleeful that McGarrett turned out to be as human as the rest of them. The sentiment lasted right up till the moment when Steve blinked awake and looked up at him and said “Danny?” so bleary and used up and _forlorn_ , a thing Danny never expected in a million years to associate with Steven J McGarrett professional hard-ass. To say Danny is shocked would be an understatement. He discovers Steve has a raging fever and chills, a scowl that screams 'Head-ache' and can barely keep his eyes open Danny makes a command decision “Come on ya big freak, you aren't doing anyone any good here” and drags him out to the Camaro.

By the time Steve is perched on the edge of his (their) bed Danny is starting to wonder if he should have taken him to the hospital. Steve's so hot it burns to touch him and he is barely coherent. When Danny goes to get him some ibuprofen for the fever Steve croaks “top shelf” and Danny wonders if he's also delirious.  
“Take it easy Steve. I'll be right back with something for your fever” he means to placate him but Steve just looks irritated. Danny hopes he isn't going to end up going toe to toe with the guy about taking care of himself.

Danny gets back with the fever reducers a glass of water and some Gatorade a grand total of 5 minutes later and Steve is passed out cold on top of the blankets and still wearing his clothes and his boots. Danny just shakes his head and starts undoing the laces.

 

He ends up going back to work when it becomes clear McGarrett is down for the count. Frankly Danny is glad he went to sleep so easily because the thing the guy needs most at this point is rest. He would rather eat glass than admit out loud he spends most of the day talking himself out of skipping work to go wipe Steve's sweaty brow,

There isn't a lot going on at 5-0 headquarters. They are trying to get a line on a shipment that is supposedly coming in but all they have so far is smoke. He spends the day catching up on paper work and by 4 he has no reason to hang around any longer and every reason to get the hell out.

 

He checks on Steve as soon as he's through the door. The bed is a wreck and so is Steve. He's sweaty as hell and still out of it, but now he's huddled on the bed curled into a ball shivering. His blankets are gone. Steve's face is flushed and he is obviously still feverish.

Danny can't help him self, he brushes his hand across Steve's brow needing to feel for himself. Sue him he has a kid and fevers freak him out a little and Steve's hot, really hot.

Danny pops the lid on the ibuprofen and shakes Steve's shoulder “ Steve.” he gets no response but he is nothing if not persistent “ Hey buddy come on. You gotta wake up for me. Steve” It takes a couple of seconds but eventually Steve reaches a minimum level of consciousness “Danny?” and there's that tone again the one that makes him sound about 6 years old and totally lost.

“Yeah babe I'm right here”

“Wha's goin on?” Steve asked blearily struggling to sit.

“ You've got a fever” Danny tells him and puts an arm around him to help him up.

“Do I?”

“Yeah you do. I need you to take this “ Danny presses the pills against his lips and Steve takes them without question. He swallows the Gatorade too and the blind trust makes Danny's gut clench. He knows how lucky he is because Steve McGarrett is not a guy who trusts, not easily any way, and never blindly.

“Is ever' thing okay?” Steve wants to know clearly confused.

“ Yeah babe” Danny tells him quietly “ You just need to rest and get rid of this fever” he pushes Steve gently back but Steve's hand grabs at him

“Stay?” he says as if he thinks Danny would willingly leave him like this

“Of course” Danny says gently. “ Lay back. I'm going to get something to eat but I'll come right back and hang out”

“ You're coming back?”

“Yeah babe, right back” It is a measure of how out of it Steve is that he would even ask that. Steve never really asks for anything.

Danny makes a sandwich, grabs a beer and a couple of bottles of water and his laptop, and heads back to the bedroom to settle in for the night. He'll catch up on paper work and emails and keep an eye on Steve until he feels tired. It wont be the most fun night he's spent in that bed by a long damn way but it's part of the package as far as Danny is concerned. No where else he would be right now.

By the time Danny is ready to sleep Steve's fever is down but not gone and he's breathing a little clearer. Danny figures he'll at least get a decent sleep in and Steve will at least get a decent rest. It's a beautiful idea. It doesn’t happen that way though.

Some where in the middle of the night the fever spikes dramatically. Danny is jarred awake and he is so fucking hot he feels like his back is on fire. “Shit! Steve!” he thinks and come fully awake.  
He sits up fast and turns to check. The motion disturbs Steve enough that he opens his eyes and its clear immediately that he is mostly out of it. His eyes are glassy and his face is flushed red. He looks like hell.  
“Danny?”

“Right here babe” Danny says gently. He has never seen Steve look worse “ Sorry for waking you.”

“Danny?” Steve asks again and then Danny can see he's not really tracking. Shit. Danny reaches for him and feels the sweat beaded on his face.

“Right here, Steve” he needs to get him more meds and fluids.

“Are you going?” Steve wants to know and the plaintive note in his voice is so out of place Danny feels the bottom drop out of his stomach.

“No Steve.” Danny tells him touching his arm to reassure “I'm just gonna get you a drink and some pills”

Danny is really glad he brought some supplies in the bedroom,before he got ready for bed, when Steve asks him again “ Do you need to go?” he sounds like expects the answer to be yes.

“ Nope. Got everything I need right here” Danny tells him. He tells himself it's just the fever making Steve ask. That doesn't really help much.

“ I don't want you to go”

“Not going anywhere, Steve” Danny tells him

He feeds Steve as many ibuprofen as he can get away with and makes him drink almost a whole bottle of Gatorade. By the time they are done Steve's eyes are drooping and he looks exhausted. The thermometer says 103 which is tolerable but not very reassuring. Danny drinks some water and goes for a piss and by the time he makes it back to the bed Steve is out cold again. This time Danny stays awake until Steve's fever goes down to 100 Danny falls asleep on his side watching Steve, still worried but he needs to sleep.

The second time he wakes up that night is a fuck of a lot less peaceful. Something hits him in the back and his first instinct is to hit back except he hears Steve cry out “NO!” and then a meaty forearm flails at him again.

Danny sits up fast. “Steve! Hey man, what's wrong?” Danny reaches for him hoping to calm him

“NO!” Steve yells again and strikes out catching Danny on the cheek hard. For a fraction of a second Danny is _pissed._ The fucker hit him! Then his damn brain kicks in and Danny recognizes that Steve is in the middle of some sort of dream. He has the same familiar fractured look on his face and his eyes are glassed over and he is looking _through_ Danny.  
Whatever he sees must be horrible, his face is so twisted with hurt and fear. “Stop! You can't take them!” he yells and lunges for the end of the bed. His legs get tangled in the sheet and he pitches right off.

“Shit!” Danny makes a grab for him but misses and Steve lands in a heap on the floor tangled in the sheets and flailing to get loose. It would probably be funnier if Danny wasn't scared shitless. What the hell could Steve be seeing?

Danny crouches down beside him and tentatively reaches out “Steve? Hey you with me?”

“Danny?” he asks confused reaching for Danny then stopping

“Yeah it's me. What's going on man?” Danny asks

“I thought they were taking you!” Steve tells him panicked, his darting around the room looking for the enemy.

“ No no. It's OK” Danny says trying to calm him “ No one is taking me anywhere.” He reaches for Steve and says “Come on let's get you back into bed”

“ No Danny! You have to run! They are going to come back” He pushes at Danny weakly.  
“ You have to get away!” Steve hisses at him “ They will kill you! I can't let them hurt you too! Not you! Take Grace and go. Go far away! If you are away from me you'll be safe!” he's working himself into a real panic and Danny needs to get him calmed down.

“Steve, it's okay. No is going to hurt us. We're safe. You're here. You always keep us safe” Danny tells him wanting only to calm him down hoping Steve will feel better knowing Danny trusts him to keep them all safe. It's absolutely the truth.

“ NO DANNY! You have to go! I can't keep you safe! I'll only get you killed just like everyone else. You have to run Danny! I can't lose you to. Please Danny” he begs. _Begs_ for fucks sake!

“Okay Steve” he tells him in his most calming tone “ Okay. What ever you need me to do I'll do it. But you need to do something for me okay?”

“Anything Danny! I would do anything to keep you guys safe. Anything you need” Danny knows that is the absolute truth and he plays on it mercilessly.

“Good. Then I need you to get back into bed “ he says and pulls gently on Steve's arm.

“Bed?” Steve says and Danny hears the confusion in his voice and he thanks heaven for it. Steve is so out of it he is losing track of what they were just doing.

“ Yeah Steve I need you to get back into bed. Can you do that for me?”

“Oh,okay” Steve says and goes docilely and that is proof enough right there how out of it he really is because Steve McGarrett never had a docile moment in his life. Danny thanks God for this one though. He steers him back on to the bed and sits him down on the edge. Steve's eyes are at half mast, his cheeks are flushed and his t-shirt is soaked through.

“Here drink some of this” Danny tells him and hands him a bottle of water. Steve can barely hold it up but Danny gets him to drink half of it anyway, then makes him swallow some more pills and finish the water. The wet  
t-shirt is replaced with a dry one and by the time Danny guides Steve back into a horizontal position again he is mostly asleep. His eyes are already closed but he mutters as he is drifting off  “you can't have them” he breathes and is out again

That is what hits Danny hardest. The thing Steve always gasps as he is pulling himself out of a nightmare. This is what wrecks Steve's sleep so many nights. He puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with a truckload of Steve's insecurity. It makes Danny want to find some one to shoot again but he realizes now... there is no one. The things that plague Steve's dreams are the circumstances of his life and the losses he has suffered, the fear of having something he could lose.  
The realization doesn't make Danny feel one bit better. He spends a lot of time thinking while he watches Steve sleep. Taking his turn at vigilance.

 

Steve's fever finally breaks just before it's fully light. He had thrashed his way though most of the rest of the night and then it was just over. He drops into sleep rather than unconsciousness. Danny follows along shortly after, now that he can do it without worry.

It's early afternoon when Danny comes to, knowing Steve is watching him sleep. He can feel it. “Creeper” he says affectionately and rolls over to do some looking of his own. Steve's face is pale and he has dark circles under them but his eyes are clear and the flush of fever is gone “ You’re better “ he says and brushes a thumb across Steve cheekbone feeling the dry skin and the normal temperature of it.

“Yeah” Steve says and he looks away. Danny thinks he's either annoyed or embarrassed. 'Sorry about last night” Steve says looking up at the ceiling and not at Danny.

“You're sorry for getting sick?” Danny scoffs a bit.

“Well yeah- uh No. Sorry for um. You know – losing it. I didn't mean to freak you out” so, embarrassed then. Like a fever dream was the nuttiest thing he had every done.

Steve sits up moving away, obviously thinking he can escape the rest of the conversation. It's almost like he's never really met Danny if he is expecting to get away with pushing this back in to the huge pile of crap they haven't dealt with. Danny cannot pretend he didn't figure some shit out last night.

“Steve” Danny says. Not demanding or trying to order him around but his tone making itself clear.

Steve stops moving but doesn't speak. He kind of hunches over like he is expecting an attack and Danny is back to wanting to shoot someone in the face. He stomps that down though, because that's not what Steve needs.

Danny comes up behind him not trying to be stealthy, letting Steve know he is there and getting closer. He reaches his arms around and leans in, pulling Steve against him. After only a seconds hesitation Steve goes with it.

“Is that what you dream about? Do you dream about losing people?” He asks very gently.

He can feel Steve tense up then shake his head no. Danny is ready to kick his ass for lying when Steve says so quietly Danny almost doesn't hear “ Not people” he grips Danny's forearms where they are wrapped around him. “ You. And Grace” he whispers and hangs his head.

“It's alright” Danny tells him.

“What?” Steve half demands disbelief clear in his face and voice

“It's alright. To be scared.”  
Steve snorts at that just like Danny knew he would but Danny goes on as if he heard nothing  
“ It's okay to worry about the people you care about. It kept _me_ up at night when Grace was a newborn. All the terrible shit in the world. All the terrible shit that can and sometimes does happen. But Steve?” he pulls at his shoulder then urging him to look at him.  
“ I am not a fucking damsel in need of rescuing. I have a gun and a lot of bullets and anything, _anyone_ that might come at us is going to get everything we can throw at them.” he lets that sink in.  
“ I don't need to be protected from you either. So stop telling yourself shit like that and get used to worrying about the people who love you.” he gives Steve a squeeze then “ Maybe take it down a notch though. No good keeping yourself up at night”

He kisses the back of Steve's gross, dried-sweat covered neck and hops off the bed “Go take a shower. You stink. Coffee will be ready when you are done.”

 

They are sprawled on the sofa a couple of nights later watching a taped game and mocking the Rangers when Steve tells Danny “ I think I need to talk to someone about it”  
Danny doesn't need clarification, he knows what Steve means. He just smiles and says “ I know a guy. I'll get you his number” and they go back to watching the game.


End file.
